FIC: What Really Matters in Life
Aug. 26th, 2009 06:51 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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shelter_dinerThanks for all the encouragement on my last piece of fanfiction, Another Stage of Life. This is a sequel to that story. Please leave feedback since I'm still pretty insecure about my writing abilities.
Title: What Really Matters in Life
Author: girlggc
Pairing/Characters: Shaun/Zach, Gabe, Cody, OC
Rating/Genre: R for language and some sexual scenes
Notes/Warnings: I do not own these characters. This is told from Shaun's POV.
What Really Matters in Life
Shaun sat in his hotel room. Damn, he felt lonely. Hell, he was more than lonely; it was like a piece of him was missing. He missed Zach, he missed Cody, and he missed baby Nathan; hell, he even missed the dog.
On some level, he wanted to kill his publisher; after all, this whole book tour was his publisher’s idea. No, he didn’t want to kill his publisher; his publisher was only doing their job. And he was damn lucky to have his book come out now. After all, Zach wasn’t working at the moment and had even taken the semester off from art school so he could spend as much time as he needed in Oregon when Nathan was born and so he could have something of a paternity leave.
Shaun looked at his watch; 7:12am. Maybe he could give Zach and Cody a call just to hear their voices. Then he remembered about the time change, it was only 4:12am where his family was. Shaun could no longer hold back the tears, he started to cry.
Shaun barely heard his phone ring. He looked down at the caller I.D. It was Zach. As he answered, he felt marginally better, but also wondered what was wrong.
“Hey Babe,” he said, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” said Zach. Shaun swore he heard a yawn.
“Babe, there has to be something wrong. Why else would you be calling me so early in the morning?”
“Okay, you caught me,” said Zach, “I miss you.” Shaun could hear the pain in Zach’s voice. Shaun had only been gone a few days, but he knew how Zach felt. It was the longest few days of his life; except, perhaps, for that time when he had called Zach a coward and they had broken up, but he didn’t want to think about that.
“I can’t sleep without you,” Zach continued. “Of course, even if you were here, I doubt I’d be sleeping now anyway. Nathan only just fell back asleep and he woke up an hour ago.”
“Babe, I promise I’ll be home by tomorrow.” Today was the last day of his book tour. Sure, his flight home was scheduled for tomorrow, but he decided he was going to do his best to catch a red-eye home.
After he was done talking to Zach, he called his publisher. He felt his publisher ought to know about his plans to catch a red-eye because they were paying for both the plane tickets and the hotel rooms. The conversation did not go as well as he had hoped. First, the publisher sounded very excited to hear from Shaun, and, as a last minute surprise, had decided to extend the book tour another day. Shaun told the publisher point blank that he couldn’t do that and in fact, he wanted to catch a red-eye home tonight. When asked why, he told them that he had family obligations. The publisher sounded shocked to learn that Shaun had a family to begin with, even though his biography in his most recent book read “Shaun Andrews lives in Los Angeles with his partner, Zach, and their two sons, Cody and Nathan. In his free time, Shaun enjoys surfing and gourmet cooking.” In the end, Shaun got the publisher to agree to let him take a red-eye home.
Shaun stumbled through the apartment door at 3:30am. First thing he did was walk to the bedroom. The bedroom was empty. He walked to the nursery. When he got to the nursery, his heart melted. There was Zach, looking absolutely exhausted, sitting in the glider with the baby over one shoulder. Zach was slowly rocking back and forth, patting Nathan on the back, and softly singing “Hush little baby.”
He caught Zach’s eye and smiled at him. Zach stopped singing and smiled back at him. Zach stood up slowly. As Shaun walked towards him, Zach carefully transferred the baby to the crook of his arm. Shaun laid a gentle kiss on Zach’s lips and then looked down at Nathan, who was sleeping. Nathan looked bigger than Shaun remembered, even though he had only been gone for a week.
“Come to bed,” Shaun whispered softly in Zach’s ear. He watched Zach tenderly lower Nathan into the crib. He walked to the bedroom with Zach following behind him. After they got in bed, Shaun gazed into Zach’s eyes. After a couple of minutes of gazing, Shaun whispered to Zach “Want to make love?”
Zach’s answer to that was to practically devour Shaun’s lips. Soon they were naked. Shaun decided that his goal for tonight would be to kiss and lick every inch of Zach’s body.
Shaun was busy licking Zach’s right nipple when he heard the door quietly creak open. He looked up and saw Zach’s horrified expression. He looked towards the door. There was Cody. Shit, they had forgotten to lock the door. Shaun quickly grabbed his boxer-briefs, which, luckily, had landed right next to his side of the bed.
After he put on his boxer-briefs, he got out of bed. He walked over to Cody, bent down to Cody’s level, and whispered “Hey kiddo! I missed you! What are you doing out of bed?”
“Hey, Papa,” said Cody, “I had a bad dream.”
“What was the dream about?” asked Shaun, hoping to thoroughly distract Cody from what he’d just witnessed.
“I dreamed there were snakes in my bed.”
Shaun picked up Cody, hugged him, and said “Aww, Buddy, there are no snakes in your bed. It was only a dream. Let’s go back to your bed.”
As Shaun tucked Cody back in bed, he was just breathing a sigh of relief when he heard Cody ask “What were you doing to Daddy?”
Shaun decided not to beat around the bush. The problem was that he wasn’t sure how to answer Cody’s question. Finally, he said “We were doing a grown-up thing.”
“But what was it?” came Cody’s persistent question.
“I was making Daddy feel good,” said Shaun, hoping to God, Mother Nature, or whatever force was out there that he was saying the right thing. Cody still looked confused. Shaun sighed and didn’t see anyway around it; he was going to have to tell Cody about sex. But he wanted it to sound good though. Maybe he’d call it making love. He sighed again. “Cody, what Daddy and I were doing was making love.”
“How do you make love?” asked Cody.
“Well, there are lots of ways,” answered Shaun. God, he wished it was Zach having this conversation instead of him. “But only grown-ups make love,” he was quick to add. The last thing he needed was Cody to start experimenting “making love” on other kids.
“Why do only grown-ups make love?” asked Cody.
“Because Cody, you have to find someone who you really love before you can make love. It takes awhile to find someone you really love.” Shaun really hoped he was explaining this right. When Cody didn’t say anything, Shaun decided that this conversation was done so he said “Good night. I love you.” He kissed Cody on the forehead and then left the room.
When he got back to bed, Zach asked “How’d that go?”
“It was the most awkward conversation of my life,” replied Shaun truthfully. “It was even worse than when I told Larry I was gay.”
“What happened?” asked Zach.
“I told him I was making you feel good. I told him we were making love and that only grown-ups make love because it takes awhile to find someone who you really love.”
The next morning, Shaun, announced that he needed a haircut and was going to the barber’s. Cody came up to him and said “Take me with you! I want a haircut too!”
Shaun looked at Cody’s hair critically and said “I don’t think you need a haircut, Buddy.”
“Yes I do! I need a boy’s haircut!”
Shaun looked at Cody’s mop-head. It looked adorable to him, but then again, it wasn’t his hair. He decided that if Cody wanted a haircut, Cody should get a haircut.
He went into the kitchen where Zach was emptying the dishwasher. “Zach,” he said, “Cody wants a haircut so I’m taking him with me.”
“He doesn’t need a haircut,” was Zach’s reply.
“Apparently, he wants a ‘boy’s haircut.’” When Zach didn’t say anything, Shaun said “It’s his hair, Zach.”
“I know,” replied Zach, “It’s just that he’s growing up so fast.”
“I know,” replied Shaun.
Cody had never actually been to a barber shop before since Zach always cut his hair, so on the way there, Shaun filled him in as to what was going to happen. “When we get there, they are going to ask who’s going to go first. Do you want to go first or should I?”
“You go first,” said Cody.
“Okay. When we it’s time to cut your hair, they’re going to ask us how you want it cut. How do you want your hair cut?”
“Like a boy’s,” was Cody’s reply.
Shaun decided to leave it until it was actually time for Cody’s haircut.
When they got to the barber shop, Shaun went first as Cody had requested. He decided to get his hair buzzed like he had it when he and Zach had first hooked up. He talked to the barber while the barber put the cape on him and while Cody examined everything in the room.
“Who’s the kid?” asked the barber.
“Cody,” replied Shaun, “He’s mine.”
“I didn’t know you had a kid.”
“Actually, I have two.”
“Funny, you struck me as gay,” said the barber.
Shaun laughed. “Oh, I am. My partner and I adopted the kids.”
Shaun looked around and saw Cody sitting in a chair. “How’s it going, Codes? We’re going to start now.”
“I’ll have a number 3 buzz cut,” Shaun said to the barber.
When it was Cody’s turn to have his hair cut, Shaun asked him how he’d like his hair cut. “Like yours,” said Cody.
Thinking that it would be a huge shock for Cody to have his hair so short, Shaun said “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have it more like Daddy’s?”
“I’m sure,” answered Cody.
“Okay then,” said Shaun. Turning to the barber, Shaun said “He’ll have a number 3 buzz cut.”
Time passed. It was now December, and Shaun and Zach had decided they would spend Christmas in their apartment with their kids. It’s not like they really had any family to visit anyway. Shaun’s parents had decided they would spend Christmas in Hawaii and Zach’s Dad was so out of it that Shaun suspected that he didn’t even know that Christmas was right around the corner.
They were hanging ornaments on the tree and playing Christmas music when Shaun’s phone rang. It was Gabe. He started to walk towards the kitchen so he could hear better.
“Hey Bro,” he said answering.
“Hey Bro,” said Gabe, “Uh, what are you doing for Christmas?”
“We’re staying here. Why?”
“Well, uh, my plans fell through because everyone wants to spend Christmas with their families, and I, uh, was wondering if I could spend it with you.”
“Sure,” said Shaun. Thinking quickly, he added, “But there are going to be a few rules.”
“Rules?” asked Gabe.
“Yeah, rules,” said Shaun. “Number one, no porn. I don’t care if it’s gay or straight, no porn.”
“Okay,” said Gabe.
“Number two,” said Shaun, continuing, “no bringing girls over to hook up with.”
“What? Why?” asked Gabe sounding shocked.
“There are children here,” answered Shaun.
“And number three, no drinking all the eggnog and passing out on the kitchen floor,” said Shaun, remembering past Christmases with Gabe.
“That it?” asked Gabe.
“Yep, that’s it,” said Shaun, who could probably think of a lot more rules if given time.
“Okay, I’ll be there on the twenty-third.”
“Can’t wait to see you, bro”
“Can’t wait to see you too.”
Shaun hung up. He stood thinking about all the possible scenarios in which his brother could inadvertently ruin Christmas. He might tell Cody there was no Santa. He might mention something objectionable in front of Cody, such as banging chicks. He might smoke pot in front of the kids. Heck, Zach had told him that he’d done that once, before they hooked up, he, Gabe, and Cody were in the car. He might…
“Shaun!” Shaun was shaken out of his reverie by the sound of his name.
He walked into the living room to see what Zach wanted. Zach was going through the coat closet obviously looking for something. “What’s up?” he asked.
“Have you seen the camcorder?” Zach asked sounding desperate.
Shaun wondered what it could possibly be that Zach wanted to video at this particular moment. He let that slide for the moment. He thought for a moment about where the video camera was located. Last place he had seen it was in the kitchen. “Uh, I think it’s in the kitchen. Why do you need it?”
“Nathan just rolled over! We need to get this on video!”
Shaun looked down at the 3 month old, who had previously been on his belly on the baby blanket for some tummy time but was now lying on his back. Nathan started to cry. Apparently, he didn’t like his current situation of being on his back. Shaun put him back on his tummy. And low and behold, after a few moments of struggling, he was back on his back.
“Oh, by the way,” said Shaun when Zach returned from the kitchen with the video camera, “Gabe’s going to spend Christmas with us.”
The twenty-third rolled around. Zach was in the master bedroom doing some last-minute gift wrapping, leaving Shaun in charge of watching both Cody and Nathan. Cody and Shaun were both sitting on the couch. Shaun was giving Nathan his bottle while Cody practiced his reading skills by reading Green Eggs and Ham aloud to Shaun.
“I do not like-” Cody was cut off when the doorbell rang. Shaun suspected that it was Gabe who was at the door since he was the only person they were expecting. Since he was busy feeding Nathan, he asked Cody to go to the door and ask who it was. Cody dutifully stood up and went to the door. Shaun heard him say “Who’s there?”
“It’s Gabe!” was the reply.
“Okay Cody, open the door,” said Shaun.
Cody opened the door. There stood Gabe with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder. Shaun saw Gabe stare at Cody in confusion for a second before saying “Hey Codes.”
“Hey Bro,” said Shaun from the couch. Gabe walked into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
“Hey Bro,” said Gabe. “Almost didn’t recognize Cody there.”
“Yeah, he got a haircut,” said Shaun. “So how are you?”
“I’m good,” said Gabe a little distractedly as he looked at the baby in Shaun’s arms from across the room.
“Come here,” said Shaun. He wanted to show Gabe his baby nephew.
Gabe approached the couch, picked up Cody’s abandoned book, and said to Shaun “What are you reading here?” Gabe glanced at the cover and said “Ah yes, Green Eggs and Ham. How old are you, exactly?”
Shaun wanted to tell Gabe to fuck off, but he couldn’t with Cody in the room, so instead he said “Dude, that’s Cody’s. He was just reading it when you showed up.”
“Cody reads?” was Gabe’s reply.
Shaun was about to ask Gabe what rock he was living under, when he heard Cody say “Of course I read! I’m in the first grade!”
Shaun laughed and said “Come here bro and meet your new nephew, Nathan”
Gabe looked at Nathan and said “Hey Nate, how’s it hangin’?”
“Seriously, Dude, ‘how’s it hangin’’?” said Zach’s voice incredulously from the direction of the hallway. Shaun looked over in the direction of the hallway and saw Zach fully enter the room. Shaun watched Zach get Gabe into a bear hug and pound him on the back. “Nice to see you,” said Zach.
“Nice to see you too,” said Gabe, looking around the room. “Look at this place!” Gabe exclaimed.
“What?” asked Shaun as he put the now empty baby bottle on the coffee table, repositioned the cloth diaper over his shoulder, and gently raised Nathan over his shoulder.”
“I can’t believe it!” said Gabe.
“Can’t believe what?” asked Zach.
At this point, Cody, who was getting bored, dumped his entire bucket of Legos onto the floor.
“How fucking domestic you two have become,” said Gabe.
“Gabe,” said Shaun warningly as he patted Nathan on the back, trying to get him to burp. He didn’t like people swearing around Cody.
“What?” asked Gabe.
“Language,” said Shaun.
“Oh, he’s said that before!” said Cody looking up from his Legos. “So has Daddy.”
Shaun looked at Zach questioningly. “It was a long time ago,” said Zach dismissively.
“How long ago?” asked Shaun.
“Umm, around the time we first hooked up.”
“I remember that,” said Gabe. “We were driving to the beach in that old car of yours and Cody was pretending to sleep. Do you still have that car?”
“Nah,” said Zach, “It broke down awhile ago, so I got a Honda Odyssey.”
“Isn’t that a minivan?” asked Gabe.
“Yeah,” said Zach.
“Dude. A minivan. You drive a minivan. For real?”
“Yeah,” said Zach, “It’s good for carpools and stuff.”
“I never thought you’d sink so low,” said Gabe, shaking his head.
The next day was Christmas Eve and Shaun spent most of the day in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner. Shaun liked to cook; it relaxed him. At one point, Gabe, who clearly was trying to be on his best behavior, walked in and asked how he could help. Shaun pointed at a pile of green beans and told his brother to start snapping the ends off.
While Shaun and Gabe cooked together, they talked. “So, what’s it like?” asked Gabe.
“What’s what like?” asked Shaun. He wasn’t sure what his brother was asking him and he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t anything involving his sex life. It would be just like Gabe to ask his something like “what does it feel like when a guy comes in your butt?” or “what’s it like to suck on another guy’s dick?”
“What’s it like being a family man?”
Shaun didn’t have to think about that one. “It’s awesome. It’s amazing. There’s no better feeling in the world.”
“Not even sex?” asked Gabe.
Shaun sighed. He knew his sex life would come up. “I gotta tell you bro, that’s one of the best parts. Making love to the person you love, it’s just amazing.”
Gabe looked somber.
Cody wandered into the kitchen.
“I hope I fall in love soon,” said Gabe.
“So you can make love?” asked Cody.
Shaun felt his face burning.
Gabe gave Shaun a questioning look. Shaun coughed uncomfortably. He couldn’t meet his brother’s eye.
“How do you know about making love?” Gabe asked Cody.
“That’s what Papa said he was doing to Daddy when he was-”
“Okay Cody, that’s enough,” said Shaun, cutting his son off.
“But I wasn’t done telling Uncle Gabe about the time you and Daddy were-”
“Cody, if you leave the room right now, I’ll give you ten dollars,” said Shaun. He knew it was bad to bribe a kid, but he didn’t want Cody to go into detail of exactly what he had witnessed.
After Cody left, Shaun heard Gabe say “You know it could seriously traumatize the kid to see you fucking Zach. Hell, it would seriously traumatize ME to see you fucking Zach.”
“That wasn’t what he saw,” said Shaun, hoping against all odds that Gabe wouldn’t want more details.
“Oh, so he saw Zach fucking you?” asked Gabe.
“No, all he saw was a bit of foreplay.”
“Did he see any dick?” asked Gabe.
“I’m not sure,” answered Shaun.
Zach walked into the kitchen. Shaun noticed that he did not look all that happy. “What’s wrong, Babe?” he asked Zach.
“What’s this about you giving Cody ten bucks to leave the room?”
“He was telling Gabe about that time when I had just come home from the book tour.”
Shaun saw the understanding dawn in Zach’s eyes. “Okay,” said Zach, “I would’ve done the same thing.”
Christmas dinner went well, with the exception of Gabe wanting to feed Nathan some mashed potato. “Dude,” said Zach, “He’s three months old.”
“You don’t need teeth to eat mashed potato”
“You don’t understand, he’s not supposed to eat solid food for at least another month.”
“I wouldn’t call mashed potato ‘solid’” grumbled Gabe.
Christmas morning started bright and early with Cody bounding into the master bedroom shouting “Wake up! Santa came!” Shaun and Zach were not entirely thrilled to be woken up at 6:00am and normally would’ve sent Cody back to bed, but they made an exception since it was Christmas.
“Okay, Kiddo, let’s go get your brother,” said Shaun.
When Shaun and Cody walked into the nursery, Shaun saw that Nathan was already awake and was babbling at his mobile. When Shaun reached the crib, Nathan gave him a gummy smile. Shaun’s heart melted, just like it did every time Nathan smiled at him. In his opinion, there was nothing quite like a baby smiling at you to make your heart melt.
After they got Nathan, Cody ran ahead of Shaun into the living room where Zach was already standing with the camera in one hand, shaking Gabe awake with the other hand.
“What’s going on?” asked Gabe groggily.
“It’s Christmas!” shouted Cody.
“So it is,” said Gabe.
They started opening presents. Cody was excited at all the toys he got. Nathan was oblivious to the clothes that he got. When Shaun opened the gift labeled “To Shaun and Zach – Gabe,” Shaun hesitated.
“Go ahead, open it,” said Gabe, “I put a lot of thought into this.”
Shaun opened the gift and inside was two tee-shirts. Both of the tees were exactly the same. They both said “I love” and had a picture of a rooster underneath. Shaun groaned and said “Thanks Gabe.”
Zach, however, was staring critically at the shirts and said “Gabe, why would you get us matching shirts that says ‘I love roosters’?”
Shaun leaned over and whispered into Zach’s ear “Think of another word for rooster.”
Clearly, Zach got it because he said “Dude, I’m so gonna kill you!”
Cody and Shaun laughed as Zach chased Gabe all over the apartment.
The time came for Zach to return to art school after his semester off. Shaun could tell Zach was nervous because he tried on three different shirts before settling on one. Shaun kissed Zach goodbye and told him not to be nervous.
When Zach returned home, the first thing Shaun did was kiss him and then he asked Zach how his day went. Zach’s reply was “I need a beer.”
After Zach got his beer, they settled down on the sofa to talk. After Zach took a few sips of beer, Shaun broke the silence by asking “Well how did it go?”
“That’s a long story,” said Zach.
“Tell me,” said Shaun.
“You know Erin?”
“The girl that has the crush on you?” said Shaun thinking of the few times he’d gone to CalArts for art exhibitions and what-not.
“Yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, she was asking me where I’d been, so I told her I had to take some time off because I just had a baby. Well she got all upset, asking how I could not tell her I have a girlfriend!”
Shaun laughed.
“So,” continued Zach, “I said ‘I don’t.’ and then she asked how I could have a baby. I said that my partner and I adopted him. That’s when she got really upset. She asked me how I could’ve not told her. I told her it wasn’t exactly a secret and in fact she had me you. So she asked me to describe you so she could remember you. I told her that you are six feet tall, have hazel eyes, and look kind of like Brad Pitt only you’re better looking.”
“Thanks Babe,” said Shaun. He was pleased with the compliment, even though he really didn’t think he was better looking than Brad Pitt.
“Well that’s when she really went into denial. She said she didn’t think I was really gay and that she would have to see you to believe it. So now I have a favor to ask of you,” said Zach.
“What is it?” asked Shaun.
“Tomorrow, at 12:30, can you bring Nathan and meet me for lunch at CalArts? I want to show you off.”
“Sure thing,” said Shaun.
The next day, Shaun was at CalArts with Nathan at 12:30. He parked the car, grabbed the diaper bag, and popped Nathan’s car seat out of its base. He sat on a bench to wait for Zach. He didn’t have to wait long.
He saw Zach coming towards him with Erin following behind him. When the two reached him, Zach said “Erin, I’d like you to meet Shaun.”
Shaun stood up, extended his hand and said “Nice to meet you, Erin.” After he shook Erin’s hand, he turned to Zach and said “How you doing, Babe?”
“Better, now that you’re here.” Shaun wrapped his arms around Zach and looked into Zach’s eyes. Shaun felt Zach’s hand behind his head, pulling him towards Zach’s head. When they kissed, Shaun was surprised at the passion in Zach’s kiss. Zach was definitely kissing him for all he was worth. Shaun felt himself go hard, which he thought was inappropriate, all things considered, but he couldn’t resist kissing Zach back.
After the kiss, which left Shaun seeing stars, he heard Zach say “This little cutie here is Nathan, our son. We have another son too, his name is Cody, but he’s at school.”
Shaun looked at Erin. She looked flabbergasted. Finally, she said “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe you’d abandon what really matters in life for him!”
“Oh?” said Zach, “And what is it that really matters in life?”
“Love, family, and commitment,” said Erin. “Zach, you could have all that with me!”
“Erin, you just don’t get it, do you?” asked Zach. “I have two beautiful sons and a wonderful partner who loves me and I love him! We’re in a committed relationship! We are a family! I already have what really matters in life!”
“Go to hell, Zach!” said Erin as she stormed off.
Shaun looked at Zach. He smiled at him. Then he heard Zach say “I meant every word that I said to her about having what really matters in life.”
Title: What Really Matters in Life
Author: girlggc
Pairing/Characters: Shaun/Zach, Gabe, Cody, OC
Rating/Genre: R for language and some sexual scenes
Notes/Warnings: I do not own these characters. This is told from Shaun's POV.
What Really Matters in Life
Shaun sat in his hotel room. Damn, he felt lonely. Hell, he was more than lonely; it was like a piece of him was missing. He missed Zach, he missed Cody, and he missed baby Nathan; hell, he even missed the dog.
On some level, he wanted to kill his publisher; after all, this whole book tour was his publisher’s idea. No, he didn’t want to kill his publisher; his publisher was only doing their job. And he was damn lucky to have his book come out now. After all, Zach wasn’t working at the moment and had even taken the semester off from art school so he could spend as much time as he needed in Oregon when Nathan was born and so he could have something of a paternity leave.
Shaun looked at his watch; 7:12am. Maybe he could give Zach and Cody a call just to hear their voices. Then he remembered about the time change, it was only 4:12am where his family was. Shaun could no longer hold back the tears, he started to cry.
Shaun barely heard his phone ring. He looked down at the caller I.D. It was Zach. As he answered, he felt marginally better, but also wondered what was wrong.
“Hey Babe,” he said, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” said Zach. Shaun swore he heard a yawn.
“Babe, there has to be something wrong. Why else would you be calling me so early in the morning?”
“Okay, you caught me,” said Zach, “I miss you.” Shaun could hear the pain in Zach’s voice. Shaun had only been gone a few days, but he knew how Zach felt. It was the longest few days of his life; except, perhaps, for that time when he had called Zach a coward and they had broken up, but he didn’t want to think about that.
“I can’t sleep without you,” Zach continued. “Of course, even if you were here, I doubt I’d be sleeping now anyway. Nathan only just fell back asleep and he woke up an hour ago.”
“Babe, I promise I’ll be home by tomorrow.” Today was the last day of his book tour. Sure, his flight home was scheduled for tomorrow, but he decided he was going to do his best to catch a red-eye home.
After he was done talking to Zach, he called his publisher. He felt his publisher ought to know about his plans to catch a red-eye because they were paying for both the plane tickets and the hotel rooms. The conversation did not go as well as he had hoped. First, the publisher sounded very excited to hear from Shaun, and, as a last minute surprise, had decided to extend the book tour another day. Shaun told the publisher point blank that he couldn’t do that and in fact, he wanted to catch a red-eye home tonight. When asked why, he told them that he had family obligations. The publisher sounded shocked to learn that Shaun had a family to begin with, even though his biography in his most recent book read “Shaun Andrews lives in Los Angeles with his partner, Zach, and their two sons, Cody and Nathan. In his free time, Shaun enjoys surfing and gourmet cooking.” In the end, Shaun got the publisher to agree to let him take a red-eye home.
Shaun stumbled through the apartment door at 3:30am. First thing he did was walk to the bedroom. The bedroom was empty. He walked to the nursery. When he got to the nursery, his heart melted. There was Zach, looking absolutely exhausted, sitting in the glider with the baby over one shoulder. Zach was slowly rocking back and forth, patting Nathan on the back, and softly singing “Hush little baby.”
He caught Zach’s eye and smiled at him. Zach stopped singing and smiled back at him. Zach stood up slowly. As Shaun walked towards him, Zach carefully transferred the baby to the crook of his arm. Shaun laid a gentle kiss on Zach’s lips and then looked down at Nathan, who was sleeping. Nathan looked bigger than Shaun remembered, even though he had only been gone for a week.
“Come to bed,” Shaun whispered softly in Zach’s ear. He watched Zach tenderly lower Nathan into the crib. He walked to the bedroom with Zach following behind him. After they got in bed, Shaun gazed into Zach’s eyes. After a couple of minutes of gazing, Shaun whispered to Zach “Want to make love?”
Zach’s answer to that was to practically devour Shaun’s lips. Soon they were naked. Shaun decided that his goal for tonight would be to kiss and lick every inch of Zach’s body.
Shaun was busy licking Zach’s right nipple when he heard the door quietly creak open. He looked up and saw Zach’s horrified expression. He looked towards the door. There was Cody. Shit, they had forgotten to lock the door. Shaun quickly grabbed his boxer-briefs, which, luckily, had landed right next to his side of the bed.
After he put on his boxer-briefs, he got out of bed. He walked over to Cody, bent down to Cody’s level, and whispered “Hey kiddo! I missed you! What are you doing out of bed?”
“Hey, Papa,” said Cody, “I had a bad dream.”
“What was the dream about?” asked Shaun, hoping to thoroughly distract Cody from what he’d just witnessed.
“I dreamed there were snakes in my bed.”
Shaun picked up Cody, hugged him, and said “Aww, Buddy, there are no snakes in your bed. It was only a dream. Let’s go back to your bed.”
As Shaun tucked Cody back in bed, he was just breathing a sigh of relief when he heard Cody ask “What were you doing to Daddy?”
Shaun decided not to beat around the bush. The problem was that he wasn’t sure how to answer Cody’s question. Finally, he said “We were doing a grown-up thing.”
“But what was it?” came Cody’s persistent question.
“I was making Daddy feel good,” said Shaun, hoping to God, Mother Nature, or whatever force was out there that he was saying the right thing. Cody still looked confused. Shaun sighed and didn’t see anyway around it; he was going to have to tell Cody about sex. But he wanted it to sound good though. Maybe he’d call it making love. He sighed again. “Cody, what Daddy and I were doing was making love.”
“How do you make love?” asked Cody.
“Well, there are lots of ways,” answered Shaun. God, he wished it was Zach having this conversation instead of him. “But only grown-ups make love,” he was quick to add. The last thing he needed was Cody to start experimenting “making love” on other kids.
“Why do only grown-ups make love?” asked Cody.
“Because Cody, you have to find someone who you really love before you can make love. It takes awhile to find someone you really love.” Shaun really hoped he was explaining this right. When Cody didn’t say anything, Shaun decided that this conversation was done so he said “Good night. I love you.” He kissed Cody on the forehead and then left the room.
When he got back to bed, Zach asked “How’d that go?”
“It was the most awkward conversation of my life,” replied Shaun truthfully. “It was even worse than when I told Larry I was gay.”
“What happened?” asked Zach.
“I told him I was making you feel good. I told him we were making love and that only grown-ups make love because it takes awhile to find someone who you really love.”
The next morning, Shaun, announced that he needed a haircut and was going to the barber’s. Cody came up to him and said “Take me with you! I want a haircut too!”
Shaun looked at Cody’s hair critically and said “I don’t think you need a haircut, Buddy.”
“Yes I do! I need a boy’s haircut!”
Shaun looked at Cody’s mop-head. It looked adorable to him, but then again, it wasn’t his hair. He decided that if Cody wanted a haircut, Cody should get a haircut.
He went into the kitchen where Zach was emptying the dishwasher. “Zach,” he said, “Cody wants a haircut so I’m taking him with me.”
“He doesn’t need a haircut,” was Zach’s reply.
“Apparently, he wants a ‘boy’s haircut.’” When Zach didn’t say anything, Shaun said “It’s his hair, Zach.”
“I know,” replied Zach, “It’s just that he’s growing up so fast.”
“I know,” replied Shaun.
Cody had never actually been to a barber shop before since Zach always cut his hair, so on the way there, Shaun filled him in as to what was going to happen. “When we get there, they are going to ask who’s going to go first. Do you want to go first or should I?”
“You go first,” said Cody.
“Okay. When we it’s time to cut your hair, they’re going to ask us how you want it cut. How do you want your hair cut?”
“Like a boy’s,” was Cody’s reply.
Shaun decided to leave it until it was actually time for Cody’s haircut.
When they got to the barber shop, Shaun went first as Cody had requested. He decided to get his hair buzzed like he had it when he and Zach had first hooked up. He talked to the barber while the barber put the cape on him and while Cody examined everything in the room.
“Who’s the kid?” asked the barber.
“Cody,” replied Shaun, “He’s mine.”
“I didn’t know you had a kid.”
“Actually, I have two.”
“Funny, you struck me as gay,” said the barber.
Shaun laughed. “Oh, I am. My partner and I adopted the kids.”
Shaun looked around and saw Cody sitting in a chair. “How’s it going, Codes? We’re going to start now.”
“I’ll have a number 3 buzz cut,” Shaun said to the barber.
When it was Cody’s turn to have his hair cut, Shaun asked him how he’d like his hair cut. “Like yours,” said Cody.
Thinking that it would be a huge shock for Cody to have his hair so short, Shaun said “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have it more like Daddy’s?”
“I’m sure,” answered Cody.
“Okay then,” said Shaun. Turning to the barber, Shaun said “He’ll have a number 3 buzz cut.”
Time passed. It was now December, and Shaun and Zach had decided they would spend Christmas in their apartment with their kids. It’s not like they really had any family to visit anyway. Shaun’s parents had decided they would spend Christmas in Hawaii and Zach’s Dad was so out of it that Shaun suspected that he didn’t even know that Christmas was right around the corner.
They were hanging ornaments on the tree and playing Christmas music when Shaun’s phone rang. It was Gabe. He started to walk towards the kitchen so he could hear better.
“Hey Bro,” he said answering.
“Hey Bro,” said Gabe, “Uh, what are you doing for Christmas?”
“We’re staying here. Why?”
“Well, uh, my plans fell through because everyone wants to spend Christmas with their families, and I, uh, was wondering if I could spend it with you.”
“Sure,” said Shaun. Thinking quickly, he added, “But there are going to be a few rules.”
“Rules?” asked Gabe.
“Yeah, rules,” said Shaun. “Number one, no porn. I don’t care if it’s gay or straight, no porn.”
“Okay,” said Gabe.
“Number two,” said Shaun, continuing, “no bringing girls over to hook up with.”
“What? Why?” asked Gabe sounding shocked.
“There are children here,” answered Shaun.
“And number three, no drinking all the eggnog and passing out on the kitchen floor,” said Shaun, remembering past Christmases with Gabe.
“That it?” asked Gabe.
“Yep, that’s it,” said Shaun, who could probably think of a lot more rules if given time.
“Okay, I’ll be there on the twenty-third.”
“Can’t wait to see you, bro”
“Can’t wait to see you too.”
Shaun hung up. He stood thinking about all the possible scenarios in which his brother could inadvertently ruin Christmas. He might tell Cody there was no Santa. He might mention something objectionable in front of Cody, such as banging chicks. He might smoke pot in front of the kids. Heck, Zach had told him that he’d done that once, before they hooked up, he, Gabe, and Cody were in the car. He might…
“Shaun!” Shaun was shaken out of his reverie by the sound of his name.
He walked into the living room to see what Zach wanted. Zach was going through the coat closet obviously looking for something. “What’s up?” he asked.
“Have you seen the camcorder?” Zach asked sounding desperate.
Shaun wondered what it could possibly be that Zach wanted to video at this particular moment. He let that slide for the moment. He thought for a moment about where the video camera was located. Last place he had seen it was in the kitchen. “Uh, I think it’s in the kitchen. Why do you need it?”
“Nathan just rolled over! We need to get this on video!”
Shaun looked down at the 3 month old, who had previously been on his belly on the baby blanket for some tummy time but was now lying on his back. Nathan started to cry. Apparently, he didn’t like his current situation of being on his back. Shaun put him back on his tummy. And low and behold, after a few moments of struggling, he was back on his back.
“Oh, by the way,” said Shaun when Zach returned from the kitchen with the video camera, “Gabe’s going to spend Christmas with us.”
The twenty-third rolled around. Zach was in the master bedroom doing some last-minute gift wrapping, leaving Shaun in charge of watching both Cody and Nathan. Cody and Shaun were both sitting on the couch. Shaun was giving Nathan his bottle while Cody practiced his reading skills by reading Green Eggs and Ham aloud to Shaun.
“I do not like-” Cody was cut off when the doorbell rang. Shaun suspected that it was Gabe who was at the door since he was the only person they were expecting. Since he was busy feeding Nathan, he asked Cody to go to the door and ask who it was. Cody dutifully stood up and went to the door. Shaun heard him say “Who’s there?”
“It’s Gabe!” was the reply.
“Okay Cody, open the door,” said Shaun.
Cody opened the door. There stood Gabe with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder. Shaun saw Gabe stare at Cody in confusion for a second before saying “Hey Codes.”
“Hey Bro,” said Shaun from the couch. Gabe walked into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
“Hey Bro,” said Gabe. “Almost didn’t recognize Cody there.”
“Yeah, he got a haircut,” said Shaun. “So how are you?”
“I’m good,” said Gabe a little distractedly as he looked at the baby in Shaun’s arms from across the room.
“Come here,” said Shaun. He wanted to show Gabe his baby nephew.
Gabe approached the couch, picked up Cody’s abandoned book, and said to Shaun “What are you reading here?” Gabe glanced at the cover and said “Ah yes, Green Eggs and Ham. How old are you, exactly?”
Shaun wanted to tell Gabe to fuck off, but he couldn’t with Cody in the room, so instead he said “Dude, that’s Cody’s. He was just reading it when you showed up.”
“Cody reads?” was Gabe’s reply.
Shaun was about to ask Gabe what rock he was living under, when he heard Cody say “Of course I read! I’m in the first grade!”
Shaun laughed and said “Come here bro and meet your new nephew, Nathan”
Gabe looked at Nathan and said “Hey Nate, how’s it hangin’?”
“Seriously, Dude, ‘how’s it hangin’’?” said Zach’s voice incredulously from the direction of the hallway. Shaun looked over in the direction of the hallway and saw Zach fully enter the room. Shaun watched Zach get Gabe into a bear hug and pound him on the back. “Nice to see you,” said Zach.
“Nice to see you too,” said Gabe, looking around the room. “Look at this place!” Gabe exclaimed.
“What?” asked Shaun as he put the now empty baby bottle on the coffee table, repositioned the cloth diaper over his shoulder, and gently raised Nathan over his shoulder.”
“I can’t believe it!” said Gabe.
“Can’t believe what?” asked Zach.
At this point, Cody, who was getting bored, dumped his entire bucket of Legos onto the floor.
“How fucking domestic you two have become,” said Gabe.
“Gabe,” said Shaun warningly as he patted Nathan on the back, trying to get him to burp. He didn’t like people swearing around Cody.
“What?” asked Gabe.
“Language,” said Shaun.
“Oh, he’s said that before!” said Cody looking up from his Legos. “So has Daddy.”
Shaun looked at Zach questioningly. “It was a long time ago,” said Zach dismissively.
“How long ago?” asked Shaun.
“Umm, around the time we first hooked up.”
“I remember that,” said Gabe. “We were driving to the beach in that old car of yours and Cody was pretending to sleep. Do you still have that car?”
“Nah,” said Zach, “It broke down awhile ago, so I got a Honda Odyssey.”
“Isn’t that a minivan?” asked Gabe.
“Yeah,” said Zach.
“Dude. A minivan. You drive a minivan. For real?”
“Yeah,” said Zach, “It’s good for carpools and stuff.”
“I never thought you’d sink so low,” said Gabe, shaking his head.
The next day was Christmas Eve and Shaun spent most of the day in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner. Shaun liked to cook; it relaxed him. At one point, Gabe, who clearly was trying to be on his best behavior, walked in and asked how he could help. Shaun pointed at a pile of green beans and told his brother to start snapping the ends off.
While Shaun and Gabe cooked together, they talked. “So, what’s it like?” asked Gabe.
“What’s what like?” asked Shaun. He wasn’t sure what his brother was asking him and he sure as hell hoped it wasn’t anything involving his sex life. It would be just like Gabe to ask his something like “what does it feel like when a guy comes in your butt?” or “what’s it like to suck on another guy’s dick?”
“What’s it like being a family man?”
Shaun didn’t have to think about that one. “It’s awesome. It’s amazing. There’s no better feeling in the world.”
“Not even sex?” asked Gabe.
Shaun sighed. He knew his sex life would come up. “I gotta tell you bro, that’s one of the best parts. Making love to the person you love, it’s just amazing.”
Gabe looked somber.
Cody wandered into the kitchen.
“I hope I fall in love soon,” said Gabe.
“So you can make love?” asked Cody.
Shaun felt his face burning.
Gabe gave Shaun a questioning look. Shaun coughed uncomfortably. He couldn’t meet his brother’s eye.
“How do you know about making love?” Gabe asked Cody.
“That’s what Papa said he was doing to Daddy when he was-”
“Okay Cody, that’s enough,” said Shaun, cutting his son off.
“But I wasn’t done telling Uncle Gabe about the time you and Daddy were-”
“Cody, if you leave the room right now, I’ll give you ten dollars,” said Shaun. He knew it was bad to bribe a kid, but he didn’t want Cody to go into detail of exactly what he had witnessed.
After Cody left, Shaun heard Gabe say “You know it could seriously traumatize the kid to see you fucking Zach. Hell, it would seriously traumatize ME to see you fucking Zach.”
“That wasn’t what he saw,” said Shaun, hoping against all odds that Gabe wouldn’t want more details.
“Oh, so he saw Zach fucking you?” asked Gabe.
“No, all he saw was a bit of foreplay.”
“Did he see any dick?” asked Gabe.
“I’m not sure,” answered Shaun.
Zach walked into the kitchen. Shaun noticed that he did not look all that happy. “What’s wrong, Babe?” he asked Zach.
“What’s this about you giving Cody ten bucks to leave the room?”
“He was telling Gabe about that time when I had just come home from the book tour.”
Shaun saw the understanding dawn in Zach’s eyes. “Okay,” said Zach, “I would’ve done the same thing.”
Christmas dinner went well, with the exception of Gabe wanting to feed Nathan some mashed potato. “Dude,” said Zach, “He’s three months old.”
“You don’t need teeth to eat mashed potato”
“You don’t understand, he’s not supposed to eat solid food for at least another month.”
“I wouldn’t call mashed potato ‘solid’” grumbled Gabe.
Christmas morning started bright and early with Cody bounding into the master bedroom shouting “Wake up! Santa came!” Shaun and Zach were not entirely thrilled to be woken up at 6:00am and normally would’ve sent Cody back to bed, but they made an exception since it was Christmas.
“Okay, Kiddo, let’s go get your brother,” said Shaun.
When Shaun and Cody walked into the nursery, Shaun saw that Nathan was already awake and was babbling at his mobile. When Shaun reached the crib, Nathan gave him a gummy smile. Shaun’s heart melted, just like it did every time Nathan smiled at him. In his opinion, there was nothing quite like a baby smiling at you to make your heart melt.
After they got Nathan, Cody ran ahead of Shaun into the living room where Zach was already standing with the camera in one hand, shaking Gabe awake with the other hand.
“What’s going on?” asked Gabe groggily.
“It’s Christmas!” shouted Cody.
“So it is,” said Gabe.
They started opening presents. Cody was excited at all the toys he got. Nathan was oblivious to the clothes that he got. When Shaun opened the gift labeled “To Shaun and Zach – Gabe,” Shaun hesitated.
“Go ahead, open it,” said Gabe, “I put a lot of thought into this.”
Shaun opened the gift and inside was two tee-shirts. Both of the tees were exactly the same. They both said “I love” and had a picture of a rooster underneath. Shaun groaned and said “Thanks Gabe.”
Zach, however, was staring critically at the shirts and said “Gabe, why would you get us matching shirts that says ‘I love roosters’?”
Shaun leaned over and whispered into Zach’s ear “Think of another word for rooster.”
Clearly, Zach got it because he said “Dude, I’m so gonna kill you!”
Cody and Shaun laughed as Zach chased Gabe all over the apartment.
The time came for Zach to return to art school after his semester off. Shaun could tell Zach was nervous because he tried on three different shirts before settling on one. Shaun kissed Zach goodbye and told him not to be nervous.
When Zach returned home, the first thing Shaun did was kiss him and then he asked Zach how his day went. Zach’s reply was “I need a beer.”
After Zach got his beer, they settled down on the sofa to talk. After Zach took a few sips of beer, Shaun broke the silence by asking “Well how did it go?”
“That’s a long story,” said Zach.
“Tell me,” said Shaun.
“You know Erin?”
“The girl that has the crush on you?” said Shaun thinking of the few times he’d gone to CalArts for art exhibitions and what-not.
“Yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, she was asking me where I’d been, so I told her I had to take some time off because I just had a baby. Well she got all upset, asking how I could not tell her I have a girlfriend!”
Shaun laughed.
“So,” continued Zach, “I said ‘I don’t.’ and then she asked how I could have a baby. I said that my partner and I adopted him. That’s when she got really upset. She asked me how I could’ve not told her. I told her it wasn’t exactly a secret and in fact she had me you. So she asked me to describe you so she could remember you. I told her that you are six feet tall, have hazel eyes, and look kind of like Brad Pitt only you’re better looking.”
“Thanks Babe,” said Shaun. He was pleased with the compliment, even though he really didn’t think he was better looking than Brad Pitt.
“Well that’s when she really went into denial. She said she didn’t think I was really gay and that she would have to see you to believe it. So now I have a favor to ask of you,” said Zach.
“What is it?” asked Shaun.
“Tomorrow, at 12:30, can you bring Nathan and meet me for lunch at CalArts? I want to show you off.”
“Sure thing,” said Shaun.
The next day, Shaun was at CalArts with Nathan at 12:30. He parked the car, grabbed the diaper bag, and popped Nathan’s car seat out of its base. He sat on a bench to wait for Zach. He didn’t have to wait long.
He saw Zach coming towards him with Erin following behind him. When the two reached him, Zach said “Erin, I’d like you to meet Shaun.”
Shaun stood up, extended his hand and said “Nice to meet you, Erin.” After he shook Erin’s hand, he turned to Zach and said “How you doing, Babe?”
“Better, now that you’re here.” Shaun wrapped his arms around Zach and looked into Zach’s eyes. Shaun felt Zach’s hand behind his head, pulling him towards Zach’s head. When they kissed, Shaun was surprised at the passion in Zach’s kiss. Zach was definitely kissing him for all he was worth. Shaun felt himself go hard, which he thought was inappropriate, all things considered, but he couldn’t resist kissing Zach back.
After the kiss, which left Shaun seeing stars, he heard Zach say “This little cutie here is Nathan, our son. We have another son too, his name is Cody, but he’s at school.”
Shaun looked at Erin. She looked flabbergasted. Finally, she said “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe you’d abandon what really matters in life for him!”
“Oh?” said Zach, “And what is it that really matters in life?”
“Love, family, and commitment,” said Erin. “Zach, you could have all that with me!”
“Erin, you just don’t get it, do you?” asked Zach. “I have two beautiful sons and a wonderful partner who loves me and I love him! We’re in a committed relationship! We are a family! I already have what really matters in life!”
“Go to hell, Zach!” said Erin as she stormed off.
Shaun looked at Zach. He smiled at him. Then he heard Zach say “I meant every word that I said to her about having what really matters in life.”
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More Please!!
Date: 2009-08-27 05:02 am (UTC)P.S. Erin really is clueless, and really couldn't see what was right in front of her. Sadly, I know a couple of people like this.
Re: More Please!!
Date: 2009-08-27 11:23 pm (UTC)Re: More Please!!
Date: 2009-08-27 11:55 pm (UTC)I'm so happy to hear this!!! :D
Agreed, more please!
Date: 2009-08-27 05:26 am (UTC)There's some real drama brewing under the surface. Is Gabe's obvious discomfort with his new familial situation going to affect his friendship w/Zach? Guess we'll find out in the next installment. *hint hint*
Re: Agreed, more please!
Date: 2009-08-27 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-27 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-28 02:16 am (UTC)Give us more... just loved it!!!
Hugs from Rio
Ana
no subject
Date: 2010-07-08 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-30 10:48 pm (UTC)