Fic: He Wants

[fizzerbass.livejournal.com]

Title:  He Wants
Author:  fizzerbass 
Rating: PG
Notes:  Wrote this a while back and sent it to dragontatt who was having a hard day that day.  I don't think she'll mind if I share it with you, too.  :)

After a day of writing words, Shaun wants nothing more than to lie in a dark room and do nothing.  No speaking, no thinking, no nothing.  No sentences coming together and falling apart, no characters behaving badly, no ideas getting hopeless tangled and going nowhere.  Nothing. 

 

All he wants to do is keep his mind carefully blank and…feel. 

 

He wants…to feel Zach’s smooth skin under his fingers, the warmth of it making the tips tingle.  He wants to trace the lean, hard muscles of his lover’s abdomen, following the hills and valleys as they swoop and swerve into the hollow of his hip before running out over the flat plain of skin under his belly button.  He wants to memorize every line, every square inch of this body he loves to love; the one that takes him to places he’s never been and could never begin to describe, even if he were to use all of the words he’s ever learned and ever written.

 

He wants…to get lost in the heat of Zach; the warmth of his gaze, the slow, simmering fire of his kisses, the glowing strength of arms wrapped completely around him and filling him with the sure knowledge he will never be released.  He wants the brilliant glow of their lovemaking to melt away the tension of the day, taking with it the chaos of noise in his head and leaving behind nothing but blessed silence…blessed peace.

 

He wants…to be consumed by Zach, taken over, totally giving up whatever vestige of control he imagines he has and fall hopelessly, helplessly, endlessly into the vast pit of feelings he experiences every time he looks into Zach’s eyes, every time he hears Zach whisper Love you more, every time he simply realizes Zach is his for today…and for always.

 

He wants…nothing more than everything, and he smiles to himself as he crawls into bed next to Zach because he knows he already has it.

Comments

[laurapetri.livejournal.com]

WOW That's some pretty awesome feelings

[yana-ambf.livejournal.com]

How beautiful.

[sienata.livejournal.com]

that was perfectly gorgeous! and i'm writing tonite, struggling, and i know just how he feels. thanks.

i've been looking at boy pix for inspiration. check out my new avatar! :)

[noreins.livejournal.com]

How wonderful that Shaun has that all consuming love to take over his thoughts when the day is over...and how wonderful that Zach will be there because he feels it too.

Thanks for sharing this, Susan.

[brokeback1963.livejournal.com]

He wants…to feel Zach’s smooth skin under his fingers, the warmth of it making the tips tingle. He wants to trace the lean, hard muscles of his lover’s abdomen, following the hills and valleys as they swoop and swerve into the hollow of his hip before running out over the flat plain of skin under his belly button. He wants to memorize every line, every square inch of this body he loves to love; the one that takes him to places he’s never been and could never begin to describe, even if he were to use all of the words he’s ever learned and ever written.

He wants…to get lost in the heat of Zach; the warmth of his gaze, the slow, simmering fire of his kisses, the glowing strength of arms wrapped completely around him and filling him with the sure knowledge he will never be released. He wants the brilliant glow of their lovemaking to melt away the tension of the day, taking with it the chaos of noise in his head and leaving behind nothing but blessed silence…blessed peace.

He wants…to be consumed by Zach, taken over, totally giving up whatever vestige of control he imagines he has and fall hopelessly, helplessly, endlessly into the vast pit of feelings he experiences every time he looks into Zach’s eyes, every time he hears Zach whisper Love you more, every time he simply realizes Zach is his for today…and for always.

He wants…nothing more than everything, and he smiles to himself as he crawls into bed next to Zach because he knows he already has it.
**

Hey Susan, I can't believe you posted today. One of my best brokie friends, called Shawn, is gonna get today a surprise: I bought another Shelter DVD and I sent it to him last week, and they told me that he's getting it today. I'm so excited. I can't wait to read what he thinks about our boys. He's sad and tired now and I know that Shelter is gonna make him feel so good. So, yeah, I was thinking about our Shelter boys today and here you are.

This is breathtakingly beautiful, babe. So lyrical, sweet and precious. The intensity and beauty of Shaun's devotion gets me everytime. **swoons**

Thank you so much. I can't get enough of your writing.

Love and big hugs.

Tammy.

[equally-dour.livejournal.com]

Just what I needed. :)

[girloftheburbs.livejournal.com]

This was so beautiful, and part of the reason why I love them.

[samueljames]

This is beautiful. Such a nice arrangement of 26 little letters.

[fever-play.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to think of some other way to describe how I feel about this other than I totally fucking loved it. Um...yeah, I can't.

The idea that Shaun's ideal place to go, to be, to think about being, is with Zach is so real and beautiful. When he's with Zach he doesn't have to think and he doesn't have to work at it because his love for Zach just is.

That's what I took from this, at least.

[fizzerbass.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to think of some other way to describe how I feel about this other than I totally fucking loved it. Um...yeah, I can't.


That's totally okay because this way is working really well for me. XD

That's what I took from this, at least.

Bingo. Got it in one. :) I wanted to convey the idea that Zach is the "place" Shaun can go and just totally lose himself, just totally fall and be his truest self and not have to think about one damn thing. Just be and let their love wash over him and through him and make him whole once again. Yeah. That. That's what I meant. And I'm thrilled to pieces you were able to see it too. :D

Thank you so very much for reading and leaving such great feedback. You've made me night, for realz. ♥

[bobthesungod.livejournal.com]

This captures the epitome of the Shaun/Zach relationship, in the sense that they're not interested in being defined or having labels; they just exist, and exist together. And I loooooooove this

Thank you for sharing this; there's such a beautiful melody to the way you wrote this