shelter_diner | Fic: Finding the Path

fizzerbass.livejournal.com posting in

Title: Finding the Path
Author: fizzerbass

Pairing: The one and only. Zach/Shaun
Rating: PG
Notes: Wanted to write something for the scene depicted below. My icon was snagged from dragontatt and the screencap is from a post by caughtmoments.

Shaun is standing on the patio of his bedroom watching the sunset, trying very hard not to have thoughts of possible futures - which is harder than it sounds because forever might very well be lying in his bed right now - when Zach wanders out from the bedroom.

He’s still sleepy, still has that little boy lost look going on when he walks over to Shaun and kisses him, cupping his neck in the way Shaun has rapidly become addicted to. Shaun smiles into the kiss because it just feels so right, so comfortable, and it doesn’t matter it’s only been two days since Zach opened his door and walked right into his heart.

“Where’d you go? I woke up and you were gone.”

Shaun smiles, his stomach doing a slow flip-flop at the slightly wounded tone in Zach’s voice. Zach missed him. Little bubbles of happiness float along his veins, making him feel lighter than the clouds draping themselves lazily over the setting sun. “I couldn’t sleep…too happy, you know?”

Zach smiles bashfully, burying his face in the crook of Shaun’s shoulder as he holds him tightly around the waist. Shaun thinks he whispers, “Me too”, but it’s hard to tell over the murmuring surf. He’s just about to ask when Zach yawns big and wide, making Shaun chuckle.

“Tired, babe?” He makes a move to go inside. “Want to go back to bed?”

Zach grabs his arm, shaking his head. “No. Let’s stay out here a while.”

Turning in his arms, Zach settles back against Shaun’s chest, resting his head on Shaun’s crossed arms. They stand silently, listening to the waves and watching the sun say good-bye to the day, and Shaun thinks he’s never had a more perfect moment. He closes his eyes, trying to memorize every detail and write it forever into the book of his memories.

His mind wanders randomly, landing gently on a question he’s been meaning to ask. One he probably should have asked two days ago, but he didn’t want to push Zach before he was ready. “So…gay, huh?”

Zach doesn’t exactly stiffen in his arms, but he’s not quite as relaxed as he was either. Shaun can feel warmth radiating from the cheek resting on his forearm, and he knows Zach is blushing.

“Maybe…I think so. I don’t know.”

“S’okay. You don’t have to know right now.”

Zach runs his hands across Shaun’s arms, trailing sparks of excitement behind them. He laces their fingers together and pulls Shaun’s arms closer around him.

“Is that fair to you?”

Shaun smiles. This is so like Zach, to be worried about everyone else but himself. Dropping a kiss to his warm shoulder, Shaun whispers. “It’s not about fair. It’s about finding out what you want, about who you want to be.”

Zach turns to face him, his eyes wide and so goddamn beautiful Shaun’s breath hitches in his chest. He feels Zach’s gaze intently, his eyes asking questions his mouth isn’t yet ready to. Shaun’s heart clenches for the uncertainty he sees hiding in plain sight in those troubled blue eyes. God, he’d do anything to spare Zach this feeling, this doubt and questioning.

“But…what if I find out I don’t want this?”

Shaun brings his hands up to cup Zach’s face, holding him softly yet surely, letting him know how much he means this. “Then I’m glad I was here for this part. I’ll always be glad for this, Zach.” He leans in to kiss him, pretending he doesn’t feel the one tear sliding from Zach’s cheek to his, or the almost desperate hold Zach has on his shoulders. Pulling back, he rubs his lips gently over Zach’s to end the kiss softly. “Besides, we’ll always be friends, right?”

Zach smiles the tiniest bit but then looks away, laying his head on Shaun’s shoulder. “I don’t know, Shaun. I don’t think I could be just friends with you after this. It’s just…it’s too intense, you know?”

Shaun rubs the other man’s back, connecting his two most favorite dots, the tattoo at the base of Zach’s neck and the one at the base of his spine. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, too wrapped up in the idea that maybe Zach is feeling this, too…this rush, this connection…God, he knows it’s way too soon, there’s no way it could happen this quick, but the words I love you are trying hard to climb right out of his heart and into his mouth.

Holding on tightly so Zach won’t turn and see the feelings in his eyes, Shaun speaks quietly. “Then I guess we’ll just have to make sure you really are gay and stay with me forever, huh?”

He can feel Zach tremble in his arms and he worries he’s said too much, too soon. He pushes Zach back to look in his eyes and smiles when he sees Zach is laughing, not crying, his grin lighting up his whole face…especially the devilish look in his eyes.

“Can we start making sure right now?”