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shelter_diner2010-05-07 11:54 pm
Fic: Responsibility (or ch. 4)
Characters: Zach, Shaun, Cody, Gabe
Rating: PG13?
Spoilers: End of movie
Notes: Takes place immediately following Normal pt 2 (post movie fic). Didn't edit this one too much, so sorry for any errors.
In the end they wound up going to the arcade together, mostly because Zach didn't think he could relax enough to enjoy any "alone time" while worrying about what trouble Gabe and Cody would get into.
Gabe had griped the whole way there about how hurt he was that his "best bros" had no faith in him, at one point going so far as to whine, "Hell, you trusted him with Jeanne!" which earned him a resounding smack on the back of his head from Shaun.
However, once there they had nothing to complain about, as all three adults relived a bit of childhood as they ushered Cody from one game to another, heaping him with enough tickets to get both a toy slingshot and a stuffed dog. Dinner consisted of hamburgers and cotton candy, and Zach felt a surge of guilt about how few vegetables Cody had been consuming since they'd left San Pedro. Cody, however, had never seemed happier. He sat in Gabe's lap picking at his fries, his little legs kicking up and down as he was too excited to keep still. "We should come here every day!" he announced in between bites.
"Wouldn't that be fun?" Shaun laughed and received a slap on the leg from Zach. He caught Zach's hand and squeezed it, holding it for a few minutes under the table. Only Gabe saw, giving them a goofy grin with a slight shake of his head before turning his attention back to Cody. "Yeah dude, you'd get some mad skills."
"Nah," Zach said, glaring at Shaun and Gabe. "It's more fun when you only come sometimes, otherwise it would get old and boring."
Cody gave him a skeptical look, but then smiled and said, "Okay."
"World's most agreeable child," Gabe joked.
*
They got home entirely too late, and Zach once again felt guilt tugging at him at how little consistency Cody was getting in their day to day lives. Not that he had ever had much of a solid routine, but it was something Zach figured he was going to have to get a jump on sooner or later.
Gabe had planned on leaving that night but decided to crash until the morning instead. When Zach returned from putting Cody to bed he found Gabe and Shaun engaged in what looked like an uncharacteristically serious discussion, and he paused in the hallway to listen.
"Okay, so it was a lot to wrap my head around at first," Gabe was saying. "But seriously, I want you to know, I'm cool with it. If you have to be with a dude, Zach's the best one I can think of. Better'n the last guy, that's for sure."
"Yeah," he heard Shaun laugh, "he is."
Zach hung back for a few more minutes until the conversation turned to more neutral territory, feeling fairly content with the world.
***
Zach walked Gabe out to his car early the next morning after Cody's tenth goodbye. Gabe pulled him into a hug, giving him a half-smile as they separated. "You know you're still welcome to come over and hang with me anytime, but I know that'll be harder with Cody and everything. In any case, I'll come back and see you guys again soon."
Zach nodded. "Yeah man, you should. I think Cody's counting on it," he added with a laugh.
"Cody is, huh," Gabe laughed back, punching him in the shoulder. Then his expression turned more serious. "You seem good, dude,” he said quietly after a short pause.
“Yeah," Zach replied, grounding a pebble with his shoe. "I guess I am."
"Alright, enough of this sentimental shit!" Gabe said, back to his usual self as he climbed into his car. "I'll catch ya later. And we're definately going out again next time,” he said before shutting the door.
Zach smiled as Gabe drove away, feeling a bit of regret as he watched the car disappear, in part because he truly did miss his best friend, but also because Gabe's departure meant it was time to face the real world of responsibilities again.
When he returned to the apartment, he found Cody and Shaun engaged in pancake preparation. Cody managed to get most of the mix and the syrup on himself, so Zach sent him off to the shower before returning to the kitchen. He tried to help Shaun with the dishes but was shooed away, so he sat down at the table.
"So, not that bad, huh," Shaun said of Gabe's visit.
Zach smiled "No, not that bad. Too bad I have to get back to real life now, though."
Shaun rolled his eyes. "Why, what real life stuff do you have to do today?"
"Uh, find a job, for one," Zach said pointedly.
Shaun passed by with a newly cleaned mixing bowl and squeezed Zach's shoulder.
"You don't have to do that right away. You have that stipend coming, remember? Besides, you've been working since you were like 16. Wouldn't it be nice to take a little break?"
Zach shook his head. "I have to cover Cody's expenses." He was looking at his fingernails and didn't notice Shaun regarding him with a curious expression.
"I can help cover some of that," Shaun said nonchalantly, putting away the last of the plates.
"No, Cody is my responsibility," Zach responded forcefully, effectively ending that thread of conversation.
Shaun dried his hands on a dishtowel and sat next to Zach. "Well, what kind of work are you looking for?"
"Whatever for now," Zach answered. "Whatever is close by with a flexible schedule. Something that will work around daycare hours for Cody."
"Daycare?" Shaun asked, surprised. "Uh, you know I'm working from home right now, right?"
"I know," Zach replied. "But how would you get any work done with a 5 year old running around?" Shaun's response was cut off as Zach continued, "Speaking of a 5 year old, I better go get him ready."
"Ready for what?" Shaun asked, confused. "I thought you said you were going job-hunting."
"Yeah, but I'll probably be gone for a few hours, so I'll take him with."
"What? Why?" Shaun furrowed his brow. "That's silly. Leave him here."
"Nah," Zach replied. "When's the last time you got a chance to write? You deserve a break," he said while scooting back his chair and heading down the hallway.
"When do you get a break?" Shaun called after him, but Zach was already out of earshot.
***
Zach managed to find a job that would start in a little over a week as a short order cook at a local restaurant. The daycare issue proved much more challenging and consumed the better part of the next few days as Zach couldn't find any place he felt comfortable leaving Cody that didn't require all of his hourly wages. He began to reconsider taking the cook position and thought of finding something he could do nights instead, though Shaun was waging a steady campaign against that idea.
It was later that week that the world's most agreeable child waged his fist battle of rebellion, and it was over vegetables.
The three of them were sitting at the kitchen table eating their first meal cooked on Shaun's new grill. Cody had readily eaten all of his hotdog, but had stopped short at the broccoli, deciding to mash it around with his fork instead.
Zach was talking to Shaun about finding time to go surfing when he noticed Cody's untouched greens. "Eat your vegetables," he said to Cody without really thinking and turned back to Shaun. A few minutes later, however, he noticed no change in the pile of broccoli and decided to be a bit more forceful.
"Cody, you need to eat your broccoli. Shaun made it especially for you."
Cody scrunched up his nose. "I don't like it."
"Sure you do," Shaun said, trying to be encouraging. "It'll help you grow up big and strong like your uncle. At least try some."
Cody smiled at Shaun for a moment and then shook his head. "Nope, I don't like them."
"Cody!" Zach said sharply, in a tone he hardly ever used with him. "Eat your vegetables."
Cody regarded him with wide eyes for a moment. Then his eyes shifted and he stared down at the broccoli like he was thinking very hard. "No . . .?" he said slowly, making the word sound like a question.
Zach blinked a few times. There weren't many things he wasn't able to get Cody to do just by asking. And he was fairly certain that Cody had been even more obedient with Jeannie; she had only to use a certain tone and he would hop to whatever she said. He felt his heart speed up a bit as he wondered if all the changes he had put Cody through were about to bite him in the ass.
"Cody," he began again.
Cody had been studying Zach during his silence, but now looked like he had finally decided upon something. "No!" he interrupted Zach and hopped down from his chair. "I'm going to go play." He took off down the hallway to his room and slammed the door behind him.
Zach was left sitting at the table with Shaun in stunned silence.
"Shit," he said hanging his head. "Cody's not usually like that."
Shaun seemed amused by the whole interaction, which only served to annoy Zach further.
"So he doesn't like broccoli," Shaun began with a shrug.
"It's not that, Shaun,” Zach said in frustration, standing up sharply to bring his plate to the sink. "I feel like I'm screwing up here. Of course he doesn't like vegetables, he's a kid. But I haven't been making sure he's been eating them, and now look what it got me. He'd of never been so disobedient with Jeannie. Maybe this is all too much for him."
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Shaun said, coming up behind Zach and resting his hand on his back. "Don't blow things out of proportion. He's a kid. I believe they do these things."
"But with Jeanne . . ." Zach started to say, but Shaun silenced him.
"Look, I don't like to talk badly about Jeanne because I know that gets to you, but I really think there's another way you could be looking at this. You and I both know that Cody never got the attention he deserved from her. Maybe part of the whole reason he was always so agreeable is that he was trying to please her. I mean, he's a smart kid. He probably knew that if he upset her she would only shut him out even more. Maybe it's a good thing he feels comfortable enough to push the boundaries with you a little bit, because he knows you'll still be there to love him tomorrow."
Zach regarded him skeptically. "It's a good thing that he trusts me so much that he can openly defy me?"
Shaun turned Zach around so he could rest his hands around his waist. "I'm not saying we should crack open a bottle of champagne to celebrate or anything, but I really don't think there's a crisis here," he said with his usual levity.
Zach had to smile. He could always count on Shaun to help him put things in perspective.
"Just go talk to him. Establish some agreed upon rules and consequences for the future. I think I read that in an article about child-rearing," Shaun laughed.
"Alright, alright. Guess I'd better get to it then," Zach took a breath and started to turn away before Shaun grabbed his arm.
"Hey, maybe I should go with you?" Shaun asked, almost hesitantly.
"Nah, you were right, it's no big deal, I can do it." Zach waived him off as he headed to down the hallway to Cody's room.
He stood at the doorway for a minute, trying to collect his thoughts before entering. Just as he was about to head in, he felt Shaun grab is arm again.
"Hey," Shaun said, giving him a strange look. "I think I should go with you."
"What? No. I told you, you were right. I'm fine. I can handle it, honestly. Cody's my responsibility."
Shaun laughed a little, but sadly. "Look Zach, I know that Cody has really always been yours pretty much, but when are you going to learn to share? I mean, I totally get why no one would want to leave a child alone with Gabe, but you've barely left him alone with me while he's been awake for longer than 30 minutes. And then you start talking about putting him in daycare while you work!” He paused, one hand rubbing his forehead, showing his discomfort. “You can trust me, you know . . . You can trust me with him."
Zach took a step away from Shaun, momentarily taken aback. He felt his heart begin to pound a little faster, though he wasn’t quite sure what was making him so nervous. "Of course I trust you Shaun," he said. "It's not that at all. It's just, you do so much for us already, more than I could ever repay you for. And Cody is my respon . . . "
Shaun stopped him mid-word by covering his mouth with his hand.
"That's just it Zach." Shaun said without dropping the hand. "I don't want Cody to be just your responsibility. When we first talked about bringing him with us, I told you I had always wanted a family. I wasn’t just saying that to make you feel better; I meant it. I didn't think it was going to happen for me . . .but now maybe it is. I want Cody to be my responsibility, too. I want him to be our responsibility. Like in a family." Shaun stopped talking, but his mouth twitched like there were more words he wanted to say that he couldn't quite find.
Zach was struck by the sight, since he so rarely found Shaun at a loss for words. For his own part, the knot that that was steadily growing in his throat was now threatening to give rise to tears. It had been years since anyone but Cody had been his family in more than name alone, and now someone who had no obligation to him was literally asking to shoulder a burden for the mere benefit of being considered family.
"I mean, if that's what you want," Shaun interrupted Zach's thoughts with a shrug, shoving his hands in his pockets in an attempt to look casual.
Zach struggled to think of what to say. There were times when he didn't think it was possible to love Shaun any more, but then something new would arise to make him doubt that entirely. This was one of those moments. He realized that even if he could find the words, he probably wouldn't be able to say them thanks to the constriction in his throat, so instead he leaned forward, taking Shaun's face in his hands, and kissed him softly.
Somewhere in the midst of the kiss and his heart bursting with emotion Zach wondered if this was what single mothers felt like when they were proposed to, and the thought caused him to laugh with his lips still pressed up against Shaun's.
Shaun pulled away only slightly. "No need to mock my sincerity," he said, feigning a hurt look.
So Zach kissed him again, harder. This time when they broke apart they were both grinning.
"I don't think two people have ever been more happy to go reprimand a child," Shaun said, his eyes glowing slightly. "Maybe we should break out that bottle of champagne after all," he joked, back to his usual temperament. "Though I feel I should warn you, I'm not sure I'm going to be any good at this disciplinarian stuff. Which is kinda why I figure I need the practice."
Zach responded by putting his arms around Shaun and pulling him in close. "I'd say for a start, we should probably wipe these smiles off our faces so he knows we mean business," Zach said, but they stood there for a few more seconds smiling into each other’s eyes before turning to enter Cody’s room, together.
Next: community.livejournal.com/shelter_diner/172535.html
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