fic: Only Forward
Dec. 1st, 2009 05:07 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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shelter_dinerTitle: Only Forward
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
axistentialism
Pairing/Characters: Zach/Shaun
Rating/Genre: PG
Word Count: 1,619
Summary: Set a few years post-film, Zach’s thoughts are turned to the past during Thanksgiving at the Andrews’ house after a long distance phone call.
Disclaimer: Shelter is awesome, but I have absolutely nothing to do with it. Except for, you know, being obsessed with it.
Linda Andrews swatted her youngest son’s hand away from the freshly roasted turkey that sat cooling on the counter before promptly scolding him and shooing him out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Gabe gave a frustrated sigh and collapsed onto the sofa next to his older brother who was too busy worriedly watching Zach march back and forth on the balcony to care about the unbearably delicious aromas that were wafting from the kitchen.
“He talking to Jeanne?” Gabe asked while shoveling another handful of the cashews his mom had put out for appetizers into his mouth. Shaun gave a nod in reply without looking away from sliding glass doors that led to the balcony that provides one of the most stunning views of the Pacific coast in all of Southern California. But that view was the furthest thing from Shaun’s thoughts.
“How’s she doing? She gets out in February right?” Gabe questioned, still chewing on the nuts.
“Yeah. She says she’s doing great, and Zach says she sounds better every time he talks to her. But I don’t know, man. It’ll kill him if she gets out of rehab and goes straight back to how she used to live.” Shaun said without averting his eyes from Zach. Gabe was starting to respond when Shaun shot him a change-the-subject look after he saw Cody bounce in through the front door, hand in hand with Larry, Shaun’s step-dad. The eight year old let go of his hand and ran and plopped down in Shaun’s lap enthusiastically.
“Is it dinner time yet, Uncle Shaun? I’m STARVING!” He said loudly.
“Starving?!” Shaun said, giving a playful shocked expression. “Why don’t you run in there and tell Nana that you need to eat some turkey before you start wasting away?”
Cody giggled and Shaun smiled happily. “I’m right there with you, little bro,” Gabe said, giving Cody a high five. “Come on, let’s go see how much longer it’s gonna be.” He stood and hoisted Cody up over his shoulders, the little boy laughing gleefully the whole time.
“He’s a great kid, son,” Larry said, taking Gabe’s place next to Shaun on the sofa. Just a few years ago hearing Larry call him ‘son’ would have sent a jolt of rage all through Shaun’s body. But, somehow, now it just made him feel accepted.
“Yeah. He’s crazy about you,” Shaun said. Which was true. They didn’t get to visit his parents as often as Shaun would like, what with he and Zach both being busy in LA, but that didn’t stop Cody from asking on a regular basis when they’d get to go to Nana and Grandpa’s house. When he first started calling that, both Shaun and Zach’s hearts swelled.
“Well, it’s mutual. You’ve done good, Shaun. I’m really proud of you, I don’t say that nearly enough as I should,” Larry said. He patted Shaun on the back then stood up. “I’m gonna go help set the table, dinner has to be almost done.” Before Shaun could reply, he was headed toward the dining room.
Despite himself, Shaun felt his eyes welling up. His relationship with his step-father had gone from almost violent to easy and loving in a matter of a few years. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d ever hear Larry tell him he was proud of him. But, then again, never did he imagine he’d be head over heels in love with his kid brother’s best friend, either.
Speak of the devil, Shaun thought as Zach slid the door open and walked back into the house at that very moment. He stood up and walked over to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.
“How’s she doing?” He asked gently.
Zach leaned into his touch. “The cafeteria’s serving them Thanksgiving dinner. Jeanne’s eating Thanksgiving dinner in a cafeteria all by herself in some rehab center a hundred fucking miles away.” His face got hot and his throat tight at the thought. Shaun pulled him into an embrace.
“I just… I know she’s getting help, but I just can’t help wondering what my mom would say.” Zach admitted in a frustrated whisper. Shaun felt a deep wave of pain crash through him, and tightened his arms around Zach, bringing them as close as possible. He waited for the knot in his throat to loosen up before he said anything.
“She would say how proud she is of you for being such an amazing dad to Cody. She would say how proud she is of Jeanne for finally admitting her problems, for getting the help she’s needed for a long damn time. She would tell you how much she loves you both. Zach, your mom was one of the most sincerely understanding and compassionate people I’ve ever met. No way would she be anything but loving. No way in hell.”
Zach said nothing, just clung to Shaun and buried his face deep into his shoulder. The holidays always made him think of his mom, which, he told himself, was only natural. But this year, with Jeanne getting treatment for alcohol and prescription painkiller addictions at a rehab facility up the coast, he couldn’t help remembering all the Thanksgivings of his youth. He, his big sister, and his parents gathered around their tiny kitchen table that was almost completely covered with food. They hadn’t had much – hell, no one in San Pedro did, especially in those days – but what they did have had been enough. Those long distant memories seemed further away than ever now.
“Uncle Zach, Uncle Shaun, DINNER!” They heard Cody shout from the dining room. Shaun took a deep breath and gently released Zach from the hug, but kept his arms loosely enclosed around his neck. Zach looked at Shaun and gave him a small but sincere smile. He wiped his moist eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath as well, though his was shakier, and Shaun could almost see some of the tension in his body escape with the exhale.
“Come on, babe, let’s go eat – before Gabe inhales it all in one go,” Shaun said, drastically raising the volume of his voice at the comment about Gabe as they made their way into the dining room and took their places at the elegant oak table.
“Screw you, Shaun. Guns like these need all the ammo I can give ‘em,” Gabe said then flexed his biceps dramatically, causing everyone to laugh, especially Cody.
“I thought I taught you better than to bring weapons to the dinner table, sweetheart,” Linda said in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, well, with vultures like Gabe around, maybe we should have brought some weapons,” Shaun said, giving his little brother a wink and just barely ducking out of the path of the dinner roll that had been hurled toward his head.
“Gabe! Please don’t throw our dinner at your brother. At least not before we get a chance to eat some of it,” Linda said. Gabe picked up another roll and aimed it at his mom.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” Linda warned. The roll hit her forehead with a small smack.
Laughter erupted from around the table and Linda took pleasure in throwing the roll right back at her son, hitting him right between the eyes. Soon enough, Gabe, Shaun, and their mom were engaged in a mini-food fight right there at the dinner table. Cody happily joined in, as did Larry, but only after his wife thwacked him upside the head with a large chunk of the roll that she had just been hit with.
Amidst the glorious chaos of flying dinner rolls, uninhibited laughter, and the easy comfort of familiar faces and voices, Shaun noticed Zach’s silence. He looked over at the man whose eyes will always send shivers down his spine and saw him lost in thought while watching the events take place before him, a pensive smile on his face.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Shaun asked in a low voice, allowing the noises of laughter and conversation to drown his words out to everyone but Zach.
Zach looked at Shaun, saw the love and concern in his eyes; he looked at Cody and saw the look of unadulterated joy dance across his young face; he looked at his best bud and felt the promise of unconditional friendship and acceptance that he always felt with Gabe; he looked at the man and woman who might as well have been his blood relatives and saw the look of quiet pride and satisfaction that comes when parents realize that their children have made it. He would never have another San Pedro Thanksgiving with his mom and sister and dad all together, but he would have plenty of amazing ones with the beautiful and loving people that were now his family.
He could think back on his past and be thankful for the memories he has, but he can only look forward – to putting Cody to bed at night and knowing he’s safe and happy; to he and Shaun tangling their bodies together until they can’t tell where one ends and the other begins; to seeing Jeanne clean and sober for the first time in more years than he could count; to a life full of love and living every day of it to the absolute fullest.
“Nothing,” He said and gave Shaun a warm smile. He casually scooted his chair closer to Shaun’s and locked their hands together in his lap. Shaun smiled at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He didn’t need Zach to tell him how thankful he was.
He already knew.
Author/Artist:
axistentialismPairing/Characters: Zach/Shaun
Rating/Genre: PG
Word Count: 1,619
Summary: Set a few years post-film, Zach’s thoughts are turned to the past during Thanksgiving at the Andrews’ house after a long distance phone call.
Disclaimer: Shelter is awesome, but I have absolutely nothing to do with it. Except for, you know, being obsessed with it.
Linda Andrews swatted her youngest son’s hand away from the freshly roasted turkey that sat cooling on the counter before promptly scolding him and shooing him out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Gabe gave a frustrated sigh and collapsed onto the sofa next to his older brother who was too busy worriedly watching Zach march back and forth on the balcony to care about the unbearably delicious aromas that were wafting from the kitchen.
“He talking to Jeanne?” Gabe asked while shoveling another handful of the cashews his mom had put out for appetizers into his mouth. Shaun gave a nod in reply without looking away from sliding glass doors that led to the balcony that provides one of the most stunning views of the Pacific coast in all of Southern California. But that view was the furthest thing from Shaun’s thoughts.
“How’s she doing? She gets out in February right?” Gabe questioned, still chewing on the nuts.
“Yeah. She says she’s doing great, and Zach says she sounds better every time he talks to her. But I don’t know, man. It’ll kill him if she gets out of rehab and goes straight back to how she used to live.” Shaun said without averting his eyes from Zach. Gabe was starting to respond when Shaun shot him a change-the-subject look after he saw Cody bounce in through the front door, hand in hand with Larry, Shaun’s step-dad. The eight year old let go of his hand and ran and plopped down in Shaun’s lap enthusiastically.
“Is it dinner time yet, Uncle Shaun? I’m STARVING!” He said loudly.
“Starving?!” Shaun said, giving a playful shocked expression. “Why don’t you run in there and tell Nana that you need to eat some turkey before you start wasting away?”
Cody giggled and Shaun smiled happily. “I’m right there with you, little bro,” Gabe said, giving Cody a high five. “Come on, let’s go see how much longer it’s gonna be.” He stood and hoisted Cody up over his shoulders, the little boy laughing gleefully the whole time.
“He’s a great kid, son,” Larry said, taking Gabe’s place next to Shaun on the sofa. Just a few years ago hearing Larry call him ‘son’ would have sent a jolt of rage all through Shaun’s body. But, somehow, now it just made him feel accepted.
“Yeah. He’s crazy about you,” Shaun said. Which was true. They didn’t get to visit his parents as often as Shaun would like, what with he and Zach both being busy in LA, but that didn’t stop Cody from asking on a regular basis when they’d get to go to Nana and Grandpa’s house. When he first started calling that, both Shaun and Zach’s hearts swelled.
“Well, it’s mutual. You’ve done good, Shaun. I’m really proud of you, I don’t say that nearly enough as I should,” Larry said. He patted Shaun on the back then stood up. “I’m gonna go help set the table, dinner has to be almost done.” Before Shaun could reply, he was headed toward the dining room.
Despite himself, Shaun felt his eyes welling up. His relationship with his step-father had gone from almost violent to easy and loving in a matter of a few years. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d ever hear Larry tell him he was proud of him. But, then again, never did he imagine he’d be head over heels in love with his kid brother’s best friend, either.
Speak of the devil, Shaun thought as Zach slid the door open and walked back into the house at that very moment. He stood up and walked over to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.
“How’s she doing?” He asked gently.
Zach leaned into his touch. “The cafeteria’s serving them Thanksgiving dinner. Jeanne’s eating Thanksgiving dinner in a cafeteria all by herself in some rehab center a hundred fucking miles away.” His face got hot and his throat tight at the thought. Shaun pulled him into an embrace.
“I just… I know she’s getting help, but I just can’t help wondering what my mom would say.” Zach admitted in a frustrated whisper. Shaun felt a deep wave of pain crash through him, and tightened his arms around Zach, bringing them as close as possible. He waited for the knot in his throat to loosen up before he said anything.
“She would say how proud she is of you for being such an amazing dad to Cody. She would say how proud she is of Jeanne for finally admitting her problems, for getting the help she’s needed for a long damn time. She would tell you how much she loves you both. Zach, your mom was one of the most sincerely understanding and compassionate people I’ve ever met. No way would she be anything but loving. No way in hell.”
Zach said nothing, just clung to Shaun and buried his face deep into his shoulder. The holidays always made him think of his mom, which, he told himself, was only natural. But this year, with Jeanne getting treatment for alcohol and prescription painkiller addictions at a rehab facility up the coast, he couldn’t help remembering all the Thanksgivings of his youth. He, his big sister, and his parents gathered around their tiny kitchen table that was almost completely covered with food. They hadn’t had much – hell, no one in San Pedro did, especially in those days – but what they did have had been enough. Those long distant memories seemed further away than ever now.
“Uncle Zach, Uncle Shaun, DINNER!” They heard Cody shout from the dining room. Shaun took a deep breath and gently released Zach from the hug, but kept his arms loosely enclosed around his neck. Zach looked at Shaun and gave him a small but sincere smile. He wiped his moist eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath as well, though his was shakier, and Shaun could almost see some of the tension in his body escape with the exhale.
“Come on, babe, let’s go eat – before Gabe inhales it all in one go,” Shaun said, drastically raising the volume of his voice at the comment about Gabe as they made their way into the dining room and took their places at the elegant oak table.
“Screw you, Shaun. Guns like these need all the ammo I can give ‘em,” Gabe said then flexed his biceps dramatically, causing everyone to laugh, especially Cody.
“I thought I taught you better than to bring weapons to the dinner table, sweetheart,” Linda said in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, well, with vultures like Gabe around, maybe we should have brought some weapons,” Shaun said, giving his little brother a wink and just barely ducking out of the path of the dinner roll that had been hurled toward his head.
“Gabe! Please don’t throw our dinner at your brother. At least not before we get a chance to eat some of it,” Linda said. Gabe picked up another roll and aimed it at his mom.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” Linda warned. The roll hit her forehead with a small smack.
Laughter erupted from around the table and Linda took pleasure in throwing the roll right back at her son, hitting him right between the eyes. Soon enough, Gabe, Shaun, and their mom were engaged in a mini-food fight right there at the dinner table. Cody happily joined in, as did Larry, but only after his wife thwacked him upside the head with a large chunk of the roll that she had just been hit with.
Amidst the glorious chaos of flying dinner rolls, uninhibited laughter, and the easy comfort of familiar faces and voices, Shaun noticed Zach’s silence. He looked over at the man whose eyes will always send shivers down his spine and saw him lost in thought while watching the events take place before him, a pensive smile on his face.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Shaun asked in a low voice, allowing the noises of laughter and conversation to drown his words out to everyone but Zach.
Zach looked at Shaun, saw the love and concern in his eyes; he looked at Cody and saw the look of unadulterated joy dance across his young face; he looked at his best bud and felt the promise of unconditional friendship and acceptance that he always felt with Gabe; he looked at the man and woman who might as well have been his blood relatives and saw the look of quiet pride and satisfaction that comes when parents realize that their children have made it. He would never have another San Pedro Thanksgiving with his mom and sister and dad all together, but he would have plenty of amazing ones with the beautiful and loving people that were now his family.
He could think back on his past and be thankful for the memories he has, but he can only look forward – to putting Cody to bed at night and knowing he’s safe and happy; to he and Shaun tangling their bodies together until they can’t tell where one ends and the other begins; to seeing Jeanne clean and sober for the first time in more years than he could count; to a life full of love and living every day of it to the absolute fullest.
“Nothing,” He said and gave Shaun a warm smile. He casually scooted his chair closer to Shaun’s and locked their hands together in his lap. Shaun smiled at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He didn’t need Zach to tell him how thankful he was.
He already knew.
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